Increasing your approachability

1. Be ready to engage

Whenever you attend a meeting, event, party, etc, be prepared for conversations to take place. It is important to have rehearsed conversation topics, questions, stories, etc. in the back of your mind so that you are ready to converse as soon as you meet someone. This will help avoid awkward “how’s the weather?” conversations.

2. Discover and Focus on CPI (common point of interest)

Your duty, as you meet new people, is to discover the CPI as soon as possible. This will help establish a bond between you and others. It increases your approachability and allows people to feel more comfortable talking with you.

3. Give Flavored Answers

We hear plenty of basic questions in our interactions that go nowhere if not responded with a flavored answer. Questions like “How’s it going?” “What’s Up?” or “How are you?”. Do not fall into the conversation-ending trap of responding “Fine.” Instead offer “Flavored answers” like “Things are going Amazing?” or “Everything is beautiful.” Your conversation partner will instantly change their demeanor, smile and most of the time inquire further to find out what made you answer that way. Why? Because nobody expects it and offering a true response to magnify the way you feel is a perfect way to share yourself and make yourself personally available.  

4. Don’t cross your arms

People see crossed arms and they drift away. It’s a simple, subconscious cue that says “Stay away.” It makes you not approachable.

5. Give options for communication

People like to communicate with you in different ways; some will like to speak face to face, others over the phone, or via text and email.  Give people as many ways as you can to contact you. Make it easy and pleasant. What matters most is the other person’s comfort and ability to communicate with you effectively.

6. You’re in control

Do you ever hear yourself saying, “They won’t say hello to me. They won’t be interested in me”. Don’t let the fear of rejection, inadequacy stop you from achieving your goals. The more you start conversations, the better you will become at it. Be the first to introduce yourself or simply say hello. When you take an active rather than passive role, you put yourself in control and will develop your skills to lower your chance of rejection.